


Violet Rings

by placebo



Category: NCT (Band), Stray Kids (Band), TWICE (Band)
Genre: Angst, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Family Problems, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Slow Burn, are we perhaps going poly?, felix and jisung are the best kind of friends, hufflepuff bffs hyunjilix, i've decided nct has a big enough role to be in the fandom list, most of them r british but minho is french n aussie line r still aussie line, seungjin have History, some of skz barely appear whoops, some of the tagged arent as important as others, twice too
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-02
Updated: 2018-06-21
Packaged: 2019-05-17 05:55:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14826608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/placebo/pseuds/placebo
Summary: “It’s cute,” Seungmin says idly, handing his owl an envelope. Hyunjin stares resolutely ahead, refusing to look Seungmin’s way. “I haven’t seen Nayeon in years.”There’s something about the way Seungmin says it – like he has no idea why Nayeon’s no longer considered a part of their families’ group – that stirs something ugly in Hyunjin’s stomach. Seungmin shouldn’t be talking like that, like he actually cares.(Hyunjin doesn't hate all Slytherins. Just some of them.)





	1. SEPTEMBER

**Author's Note:**

> i've been planning this and working on it for a while, haha, this was initially going to be one long fic but i've decided to split it into chapters by month
> 
> in case it's not too clear in my writing:  
> hogwarts still takes students from 11-17, but it also acts as a university for certain careers in the wizarding community!
> 
> their houses should be clear but if u need help with them then just let me know!
> 
> this chapter begins late september
> 
> (thanks to t and m for proofreading this for me i love u guys lots uwu)

 

 

_you say_  
_sorry, like an angel_  
_heaven let me think was you_  
_but I'm afraid_  
_it's too late to apologize_

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

Hyunjin is aggressively shaken awake by the smallest resident in their dorm. His initial reaction is to shove the hands away, turn over, and go back to sleep, but then Jisung ups the ante and starts hitting him (not very lightly) on the shoulder until he relents and sits up, rubbing at his eyes to get them working. When he finally opens them, Jisung is directly in front of him, glaring.

“Your alarm,” he hisses, “is the single worst sound to exist on this planet earth.”

“You’ve used that one before,” Hyunjin mumbles, frowning when he sees his alarm clock on the ground two metres away from his bed. At least it’s not broken. He contemplates getting out of bed to pick it up before deciding he’s too sleepy and letting himself tip back onto his soft mattress, burying his face in his pillow.

Jisung lets out a frustrated shriek, and Hyunjin feels him climb off the bed. If he strains his ears he can hear soft footsteps, and then a door opening and shutting – the bathroom door, probably. He relaxes further, letting his eyes shut tightly, letting the background noises fade out as he goes back to sleep.

And then he’s doused in ice cold water, right in the face. He yells loudly and jerks up, which has not only Jisung but the other two currently in the dorm – Felix and Jeno – bursting out in laughter.

(What’s the saying – shorter people are closer to hell? Hyunjin has never in his life related to it as much as this moment.)

“What the fuck,” Hyunjin whines, clumsily grabbing for his wand and charming himself dry, and then the bed. The shock of the cold still lingers as he pulls himself off the bed, grumbling. There’s no point in trying to sleep again, not when Jisung could easily pull the same trick again, so he begins to collect his clothes and move into the bathroom. “Why the hell would you do that?”

“You’ve slept in. _Again_.” Hyunjin doesn’t much like Jisung’s tone of voice.  “There’s only an hour left for breakfast.”

Hyunjin curses loudly, almost tripping over his bedsheets as he rushes to get ready.

“I’ve already had mine,” Jeno adds. He’s fully dressed, with only his shoes off, and he’s lounging on his bed writing something on a piece of (probably charmed) parchment with a fond smile on his face.

“Not all of us have our shit together, Jeno,” Hyunjin mutters. He’s still half asleep. Jeno hums something that might be a laugh.

“If only your fan club could see you now,” Felix says, still snickering. “They wouldn’t call you Prince anymore.” Hyunjin picks up the closest item to him and pelts it at Felix.

(It’s Jeno’s toothbrush, and Hyunjin hears him whine after it hits the floor with a pathetic _thud._ )

“If you’re so pressed about what time I wake up, why don’t you just go on ahead of me?” Hyunjin calls, rubbing a cleanser on his face.

“Three reasons,” Felix says. “One, you never wake up on time. Two, we always have to wake you. And three, you hate going to breakfast alone.”

They’re all very valid points, but Hyunjin just rolls his eyes and finishes washing his face, slipping quickly into a shirt and pants. He walks out of the bathroom to see Jisung standing in front of their full length mirror. Felix is slipping on his shoes.

“What’s the policy on piercings at this school?” Jisung mutters into the mirror. He tugs at his lip. “I’m thinking of getting one here.”

It’s no secret that the only reason he’s even considering it is because last week Lee Minho had offhandedly mentioned he thought they were hot. Hyunjin had honestly thought Jisung’s crush on him had abated after Minho had disappeared for two years (read: returned to France to finish high school at Beauxbatons), but on their first day of the year when Minho had returned with the news that he was training in Hogwarts to be a professor, it was as if Jisung was back in his third year, unable to speak to the Hufflepuff prefect two years their senior without stuttering over every second word. After three weeks, he’s gotten better at managing himself around Minho, but he’s still kind of pathetic.

(It would be almost funny if Hyunjin didn’t know how much Jisung had truly missed Minho, who hadn’t messaged him once in the two years he had been gone.)

“I think it’s a little late for you to be in your rebellious phase,” Hyunjin replies, tugging his robes on and joining Jisung next to the mirror, wincing at his puffy eyes. He should really get more sleep.

(Literally everyone else in this dorm would disagree. Felix once said that if he got any more sleep than he already does, it would be considered a coma.)

“That doesn’t answer my question,” Jisung says crossly.

“Doesn’t Lee Donghyuck have a lot of piercings?” Felix says, popping up between the two and ruffling his hair quickly, eyeing his reflection and nodding in satisfaction.

“He does,” Jeno calls helpfully, from where he’s still in bed. “But I think it might be because the teachers are scared of him,” he adds, entirely less helpfully.

“Don’t get one,” Hyunjin says. “Especially if it’s only to impress French student teachers.”

“Who said I was trying to impress Minho?” Jisung stops examining his lip in favour of tugging on his shoes. He’s trying to act nonchalant, Hyunjin knows, but not only are his ears turning red, but he’s already completely screwed over any semblance of nonchalance by mentioning a name.

“There are a lot of student teachers here. Funny how you mentioned Minho when I didn’t.”

“You said French. I extrapolated.”

“I don’t think that’s what that means,” Felix says unnecessarily.

“It means exactly what I want it to mean,” Jisung replies, tossing his head dramatically. He gives Hyunjin approximately zero-point-two seconds to get his shoes on (he haphazardly shoves his feet into them, deciding he’ll fix them at breakfast), before grabbing his arm and dragging him into the common room. His grip is surprisingly strong for someone so short.

Hyunjin allows himself to be dragged across half the common room floor, the rest of the Hufflepuff’s glancing at them briefly before turning back to their own things, before he roughly shakes Jisung’s arm off him, speeding up his pace. Jisung walks too slowly.

The rest of the trip to the hall consists of Hyunjin walking as fast as he can without running so that Jisung has to walk faster to catch up, with Jisung griping about it the entire way.

(Felix too, has to walk faster, but he doesn’t complain and instead is content to laugh at Jisung’s complaints.)

Inside the hall, only about half the students are still at the tables, with a slow trickle entering hall and a much larger stream exiting. Above them, owls fly around with envelopes in their mouths, waiting for the students to sit down before dropping from the sky and landing on their plates.

(Felix had questioned whether that was hygienic or not, and Hyunjin had to reassure him that _yes,_ wizarding magic prevented any germs from the owls contaminating the food. Felix had still seemed dubious, but he’s since accepted that he’ll just have to live with it.)

Hyunjin is almost surprised to see Nayeon’s owl amongst them, flying towards him when she spots him. It’s been almost a month since he last saw Bunny, since Nayeon’s been in Japan with her girlfriend, but Hyunjin supposes she’s back, now. The envelope that Bunny deposits on Hyunjin’s (thankfully) empty plate is thick, and when Hyunjin opens it he sees about a dozen different photos as well as a letter, folded up neatly into quarters.

Jisung immediately starts cooing over Bunny, stroking her feathers with the back of his hand. She preens and presses into his touch, waiting while Hyunjin reads the letter.

_My dearest darlingest Hyunjinnie,_

_It’s been so long since I’ve been able to write. Japan is so far away and Bunny can’t fly long distances, so I’ve had to wait until we arrived home to send this to you. Have you missed me? If you haven’t, I may just have to disown you, hehe._

_Japan was so wonderful! Momo’s family are so sweet and kind and welcoming. I felt so at home there, especially with her by my side. We did so much in Japan that I couldn’t possibly tell you everything now._

_Honestly, I was scared to see her parents. Like, terrified. I think I kind of forgot until now, but the only families I was ever really around were mine, and yours, and all the others in the ‘elite pureblood clan’, so all my life I kind of assumed all parents were strict and religious and against everything we stand for._

_I know you think that too. I know it’s easy to forget that not all families are like ours. Next time we go to Japan, I want you to come. I want you to meet Momo’s parents. We talked about you a lot, you know. They want to meet you one day, too. I think you’ll really like them._

_How have you been? I haven’t seen you in so long, I miss you so much. I hope sixth year hasn’t been too tough on you yet. When’s the next trip to Hogsmeade?_

_Love,_

_Nayeon <3 _

_p.s. I’ve send pictures of us in Japan, look how gorgeous everything is!_

_p.p.s. hyunjinnie! It’s Momo here! Do you remember when you first called Nayeon ‘mum’ by accident, and she cried? She cried in Japan too, twice, hehe. Once when my parents basically adopted her on the spot (it was so cute!! I cried too) and again when I suggested that you should come next time. Don’t tell her I said all this though, she doesn’t know I’m writing this!!! Love you lots!!_

Tears prick at Hyunjin’s eyes and he blinks them away before anyone can call him out on it, folding the letter back up and pulling out the pictures. They’re all very typical – the first one he sees is just Nayeon kissing Momo on the cheek, and most of the images are similar. There’s one of Momo dancing in the streets, onlookers marvelling at her, and one where Nayeon is pressing ice-cream to Momo’s nose only to kiss it off, laughing.

Hyunjin makes a mental note to take photos with Jisung and Felix to send back to Nayeon, and he slips the envelope in his robe. Bunny has stopped responding to Jisung’s petting by now, and is looking at Hyunjin inquisitively, so he tells her to wait in the owlery.

He’s about to pile food on his plate when Jisung nudges him, gesturing towards the Slytherin table with an excited glint in his eyes. Hyunjin knows he probably shouldn’t look, but he does anyway and is entirely unsurprised to see one of the Ravenclaws – Na Jaemin – stalking up to the table with a murderous look on his face.

There isn’t anyone in Hogwarts who doesn’t know the group of Slytherins that Jaemin stops in front of. They’ve been named the _Bad News Slytherin Crew_ amongst Hufflepuffs, and for good reason, too. They’re an exclusive group of sixth years, and while they haven’t necessarily _done_ anything particularly bad – other than terrorise the students sometimes – they’re stuck up and snobbish and strictly _pureblood,_ and Hyunjin hates them all. The five of them are notorious amongst students, and all the first and second years are so afraid of them they go out of their way to avoid them, parting like the red sea whenever one of the five walks through.

Last year, Park Siyeon and Hyunjoon had charmed toy snakes to come alive and chase students who were afraid of them. Lee Donghyuck and Huang Renjun, while not being bad _people_ (in fact, Hyunjin is fairly sure Jeno has a crush on one of them) tend to get overly aggressive and snarky over small things, especially when Gryffindors are concerned.

And then there’s Kim Seungmin with his cheerful smiles and charming personality. At face value, he seems like the nicest in the group. In reality, he’s probably the worst of them all. Hyunjin would know.

Everyone in Hogwarts is aware of the conflict between Hyunjin and Seungmin. They all want to know why Hyunjin, the proclaimed _Hufflepuff Prince,_ hates Seungmin so much – especially when he’s known for holding grudges for approximately zero-point-three seconds. Rumours fly about Hogwarts constantly surrounding the subject, and Hyunjin’s even been approached by younger Hufflepuffs. He’s never told anyone the truth – not even Jisung and Felix.

There are only three people in Hogwarts who know the whole truth, and considering that two of them are Slytherins, Hyunjin’s kind of surprised the truth hasn’t come out yet.

(He’s grateful for it, though.)

Jisung nudges Hyunjin. “Dude, I think Jaemin’s really going to kill Donghyuck.”

Jisung’s not wrong. Jaemin’s hand is hovering by his sleeve, ready to tug his wand out at a moment’s notice. Hyunjin can’t see Donghyuck properly from where he’s sitting, especially since Donghyuck’s turned in his seat and faces away from the table, but by the way the Slytherin is tense, he assumes a similar look is on his face. Donghyuck rises from his seat abruptly, and Renjun tries to tug him down to no avail.

Most people have turned back to their own conversations, not finding the interaction interesting enough to keep watching. This stuff happens so often amongst groups that it’s really no big deal, anymore.

Maybe Hyunjin is just too curious for his own good, because he keeps watching, as Donghyuck steps towards Jaemin, close enough that they’re barely two centimetres apart. Donghyuck says something and roughly shoves Jaemin away, immediately sitting down again.

Donghyuck glares at the table, and Renjun curls a hand protectively around Donghyuck’s shoulder, glaring at Jaemin. Siyeon rolls up something – a piece of parchment – and hands it to Donghyuck, who tucks it into his robes.

Jaemin steps forward, as if wanting to say something else, then abruptly turns and storms out of the hall, letting the doors swing shut with a loud bang that disrupts the chatter of the room.

“I wonder what Donghyuck did,” Jisung murmurs.

“Probably nothing good,” Hyunjin replies, but he feels guilty as he does, thinking of Donghyuck’s expression as he begins to pile food on his plate. Strangely, he’s not feeling as hungry as before.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

The owlery is quiet when Hyunjin visits, late at night the next day. There are two students leaving – both Gryffindors a few years below, whispering excitedly between themselves as they pass Hyunjin. Inside, it’s empty, save for the owls who are resting on their perches.

Bunny flies down to the ledge by the window, waiting patiently for Hyunjin. He strokes her feathers as he greets her and she coos happily, pressing her head into the back of his hand.

Hyunjin pulls an envelope out, less bulky than the one Nayeon had sent him, and Bunny accepts it cheerfully, readying herself to fly. Hyunjin pets her one last time, trying not to ruffle her speckled feathers, and then she’s off, soaring into the dark sky. Hyunjin watches as she flies further and further away, slowly blending into the darkness.

“That was Nayeon’s owl, right?”

Hyunjin freezes. Seungmin approaches the window ledge, staring at the same spot Hyunjin had been watching. He’s trying to look nonchalant as he stops next to Hyunjin, but his posture is tense and Hyunjin can hear the methodical _taptaptap_ of his fingers against the wooden ledge.

(They’re quirks about Seungmin that he’s always had. Hyunjin hates that he can still recognise them. He hates that they haven’t changed.)

“Yes.” Hyunjin doesn’t know why he hasn’t moved away, hasn’t left the owlery yet.

Seungmin clicks his tongue twice and a larger owl flies to the ledge, preening his feathers. It’s much bigger than Bunny, though Hyunjin has no doubt if she were still here she’d be fluffing her feathers and pretending to be bigger than she is.

“It’s cute,” Seungmin says idly, handing his owl an envelope. Hyunjin stares resolutely ahead, refusing to look Seungmin’s way. “I haven’t seen Nayeon in years.”

There’s something about the way Seungmin says it – like he has _no idea_ why Nayeon’s no longer considered a part of their families’ group – that stirs something ugly in Hyunjin’s stomach. Seungmin shouldn’t be talking like that, like he actually _cares._

Hyunjin shoves the feeling deep down inside of him.

“Why are you trying to talk to me?” he says instead, finally turning towards Seungmin as he steps back from the ledge, making to turn away and leave.

“Why can’t I?” Seungmin replies, and Hyunjin pauses, anger spiking hot in his chest as he turns back around abruptly, glaring at Seungmin.

“ _Why can’t you?_ You fucking know _why,_ Seungmin.”

Seungmin steps closer to Hyunjin again, reaching out to snag his robe. “Hyunjinnie, please–”

“Don’t pretend to care,” Hyunjin snaps, wrenching his arm from Seungmin’s grasp. Something flashes in Seungmin’s eyes as he stumbles back, and Hyunjin turns away and storms out of the owlery before he can dwell on what it might have been.

His eyes burn as he rushes through the hallways, and people keep glancing in his direction, but he ignores them all, making a beeline straight for his dormitory. He swings open the door and rushes in, almost bowling over Felix, who’s trying to leave. Felix steadies himself by grabbing onto Hyunjin, making him stop in his tracks.

“Shit, Hyunjin, are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Hyunjin mutters, pushing away from Felix, who steps closer into his space and reaches up to stroke something away from his cheeks.

“Mate, you’re crying,” Felix replies, and as Hyunjin blinks and his vision clears briefly he realises that _yeah, he is._

“It’s nothing,” Hyunjin tries again, stepping around Felix and heading towards his bed, toeing off his shoes roughly. “Seriously, Felix, I’m fine.” His voice cracks around his words, sounding thick to his ears as he tries to fight off more tears.

“Bullshit,” Felix says, but there’s no heat behind it. Hyunjin falls face first on his bed, burying his face in his pillow. The bed dips to the side as Felix sits on it, fingers brushing through Hyunjin’s hair and rubbing at his nape soothingly. Hyunjin lets himself cry, Felix whispering something to him in his low, soothing voice, until his tears have slowed, the anger in his chest tapering out to a low simmer.

Hyunjin turns his head to the side, grimacing at the cold wetness of the pillow. Felix pulls his wand out, waves it around and the pillow dries instantly. Hyunjin smiles at him waveringly, blinking away excess tears.

Then he remembers that Felix had been about to leave when Hyunjin entered. “Weren’t you going somewhere?” he asks, frowning. He doesn’t want to have delayed Felix in – whatever he was about to do. Why would he bother to stay with Hyunjin instead, anyway?

“Changbin can wait,” Felix declares, picking up on Hyunjin’s unspoken question. “You’re more important.”

Considering Hyunjin is almost one hundred percent certain that Felix is madly in love with the seventh year Ravenclaw, and has often ditched Hyunjin and Jisung to hang out with him, there’s something about the certainness in Felix’s voice that makes Hyunjin feel warm inside, a welcome change to the bitterness from before.

Hyunjin lurches forward and hugs Felix tightly, the other immediately wrapping his own arms around Hyunjin and squeezing back just as tight. It’s amazing how much better Hyunjin feels after he lets go, and he finds himself smiling genuinely at Felix, however small it may be.

“So what was the problem?” Felix asks.

“I just had an – _argument_ with Seungmin,” Hyunjin replies. The anger still hovers somewhere, just below consciousness, but he’s calmed down enough that he doesn’t feel like throwing something or crying when he thinks about it.

“You never really told us why you hate him so much,” Felix says. “You know, I don’t think it’s really that healthy to bottle everything up.”

Hyunjin doesn’t really bottle things up. He just picks and chooses what he tells his friends – after all, they know some of what happened the year he started living with Nayeon and Momo. He’s just – neglected to mention certain parts of his life.

“I’m not here for a counselling session on my self-destructive tendencies,” Hyunjin jokes, trying to smile. It comes out flat – his voice is still somewhat watery, and Felix just fixes him with a flat look. _Be serious,_ is unspoken, and Hyunjin lets the false smile drop off his face. “It’s really not big,” he mutters, letting his eyes stray around the room. “We just – we used to be best friends, before we came here. Then we stopped. That’s really all there is to it.”

Felix doesn’t look convinced, but he doesn’t question it.

“Are you feeling alright, now?” he asks, attentive eyes on Hyunjin’s face. Hyunjin nods once.

“I think I’ll just try to sleep, for now,” he says. Felix nods and squeezes his arm reassuringly, exiting the room. Hyunjin changes into his pyjamas absentmindedly, not really thinking about anything.

Curling up under his covers, he falls into a fitful sleep.

When he wakes up, it’s barely one in the morning, and Hyunjin is immediately made aware that one: he will not be going back to sleep, not now, not when he’s woken up with his head and heart feeling strange; and two: he has an incessant urge for muggle chocolate chip cookies.

(Specifically, Felix’s mum’s recipe.)

It doesn’t take much effort to mentally convince himself that getting up and going to the kitchens to bake cookies is a much better idea than lying in bed, unable to sleep, probably dwelling on all too many bad things.

Usually Jeno’s snores permeate the room so much that the others have started charming their individual beds so as not to be woken up by them (Hyunjin sleeps like a rock and can’t be woken by most things, so he’s never felt the need to do so). Tonight, Hyunjin can’t hear any snoring, but even if Jeno is awake he’s too nice to try and stop Hyunjin from sneaking out.

He slips out of bed as quietly as possible, careful not to disturb anyone. His wand is within easy reach and he grasps it, lighting its tip up with a spell, keeping the light as soft as possible. His sweater – the one Felix’s mum knitted for him – is crumpled at the foot of his bed and he tugs it on, slipping his feet into a pair of slippers.

Thanks to the magic of Hogwarts, the door opens without a single sound, and the stairs don’t creak as Hyunjin climbs down. The common room’s lights are out, but it’s still dimly lit by the fire stubbornly burning in the fireplace, down to its last embers but refusing to go out.  There are a few students sprawled on the couches, sleeping (not all of them are Hufflepuffs, Hyunjin notices), and Hyunjin tiptoes past them and out the door.

Thank merlin for the Hufflepuff dormitories being so close to the Kitchens – there’s almost no chance of getting caught by people patrolling the halls, and it gives Hyunjin easy access when he’s missed meals and wants to eat something.

(Or like now, when he can’t sleep and he’s been filled with a sudden craving for the muggle desserts that Felix’s mum makes.)

The kitchens are mostly quiet, with a couple house elves bustling about doing odd-jobs. They don’t pay Hyunjin any mind – they’re used to Hufflepuffs sneaking into the kitchen at all times of the day, and they know now not to bother them unless asked for help.

Hyunjin summons the ingredients and utensils to a bench, then tucks his wand away, measuring out the ingredients by hand and pouring in a generous amount of chocolate chips. The first time he had tried to remake the cookies he had used magic, and they hadn’t turned out as nice. Something about making them by hand, from scratch, adds just a little _something_ to make them taste heavenly. With magic, they had tasted like cheap mocks.

The large clock on the wall ticks methodically, loud amongst the heavy silence, yet comforting, as Hyunjin works on rolling the cookie dough into balls, pressing them into the baking sheet. It’s almost two o’clock when he slides them into the already hot oven – it’s permanently heated to benefit the house elves.

He cleans the dishes with his wand, sending them back to storage, then sits down, head nestled in his arms while he waits for the cookies to bake. For the next ten minutes he watches the elves idly, not really paying attention to anything, until one of them catches his attention.

“Gyu!” he calls, in a semi-whisper, and the elf in question immediately perks up at the sound of his name, scampering over to Hyunjin with a basket in his arms.

“Master Hyunjin!” Gyu bows, a wide smile stretching across his small face. “Gyu has not seen you in a while!”

“I told you to stop calling me that,” Hyunjin replies. “I haven’t had a chance to come down here yet this year,” he adds as an explanation.

Gyu nods empathetically. “Gyu understands, Master Hyunjin. Gyu has been busy, too, with collecting baskets for breakfast’s bread.” Gyu pauses in his chatter then sniffs the air suspiciously. “Are those cookies being baked?” he asks, and Hyunjin nods.

“Do you want some? They’ll be done soon.”

Hyunjin can’t help the grin that breaks out on his face when Gyu nods excitedly, dropping his basket on the bench to clap his hands excitedly. House elves are just so _cute._ “Gyu _loves_ cookies!” he chirps excitedly, jumping around.

In his excitement, he almost falls off the table, and Hyunjin is quick to catch him and steady him, pressing on Gyu’s shoulders so that he sits down. “Stay calm, Gyu,” he says, laughing. “Don’t injure yourself.”

Gyu nods seriously. “Of course, Master Hyunjin. Gyu will wait patiently for the cookies to be ready.”

As if on cue, (and somewhat thankfully,) Hyunjin’s wand starts to flash, indicating that the cookies are done. Gyu almost jumps up again, then seems to remember his patience and allows Hyunjin to pull the cookies out, summoning them to the table. He lets a couple cookies drift into Gyu’s basket, and Gyu lets out a squeal of glee, finally jumping up and bowing to Hyunjin.

“Gyu thanks you, Master Hyunjin, for these incredible cookies!” And then Gyu is off, scampering away to eat his cookies privately, and Hyunjin is left alone with a large batch of cookies.

His stomach rumbles, and Hyunjin immediately picks up one of the largest cookies in the batch. It’s almost too hot to handle, but he takes a large bite anyway, humming around the cookie as it melts in his mouth, the chocolate almost burning his tongue.

There’s something about muggle food – cooked the muggle way – that’s just _so much_ better than anything house elves make, than anything magic could create. Maybe it’s the added care that goes into making the food, or maybe it’s because Hyunjin spent most of his life never tasting food cooked the muggle way, or maybe it’s the lack of precision in measuring ingredients that makes it so perfect.

Either way, Hyunjin continues to chew on the cookies, not really thinking of anything else as he does so. In fact, he almost misses the soft _click_ of the kitchen doors opening, only turning around when he hears voices from outside, and muffled laughter.

Jeno stumbles in, eyes curved into crescents with his laughter, his hand clinging tightly to another hand. Lee Donghyuck follows him, eyes fixated on Jeno’s face as he giggles.

Hyunjin freezes mid-bite, like a deer in headlights, his hand still holding the cookie in his mouth. It takes Jeno and Donghyuck longer to see him, and they freeze when Hyunjin fixes them with a deadpan gaze.

“I thought,” Hyunjin starts, and then stops because he’s still got cookie in his mouth and it’s hard to speak properly. He swallows it quickly, dropping the other half of the cookie on the plate. “I thought we agreed that only Hufflepuffs were allowed in the kitchens.”

Jeno winces, but he doesn’t seem too guilty. “We were just coming to get some food,” he says, and his eyes zero in on the cookies. Hyunjin knows that look, and he knows exactly what Jeno’s going to ask next.

“Do you want some cookies?” he says before Jeno can ask, gesturing to the plate. Jeno’s eyes light up and he rushes towards the cookies, summoning a cloth to carry them in. He piles in the cookies, taking a sizeable amount from Hyunjin’s batch.

Donghyuck stays back, watching the exchange with something akin to apprehension in his gaze. Jeno finishes packing up cookies and grins at Hyunjin, tucking the cookies away and leaving the kitchen. Donghyuck doesn’t follow immediately, still staring at Hyunjin thoughtfully, and Jeno hovers in the doorway, waiting.

Hyunjin’s about to ask what’s bothering him when Donghyuck blurts out, “Seungmin wants to talk to you.” Hyunjin tenses up immediately, and Donghyuck must recognise that the subject is touchy because he takes a step backwards, even though he’s already pretty far away.

“I would rather he not,” Hyunjin says tersely. He doesn’t miss the way Jeno slips out of sight, letting the kitchen doors shut behind him.

“He just wants to apologise,” Donghyuck adds, as if that’ll help.

“Did he tell you what he did?”

Donghyuck seems affronted by the question. “No, but–”

“Then don’t try get me to talk to him.”

Something in Hyunjin’s tone of voice must signal something to Donghyuck, because he turns to leave, walking out of the kitchen. At the door, though, he pauses and turns back around. “Whatever he did, he seems to really regret it now. Just hear him out at least.”

Hyunjin frowns at his back as he exits, turning back around as soon as the door clicks shut. The cookies lie on the plate, one half-eaten one further to the side of them. He’s not that hungry anymore.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 


	2. October

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Oh,” Hyunjin says, somewhat awkwardly. “Jeongin. Hi.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ooh boy this chapter is a long one  
> for the record, this fic is the longest i've ever written,,  
> thanks to jotlc n wns for supporting me, loving me, appreciating me, thanks for proofreading this as well uwu
> 
> finally!! this chapter introduces a Real Important character,,, so enjoy uwu

 

 

 

_What if you notice_   
_that I still miss you?_   
_Even though it hurts,_   
_I smile in front of you_

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

Hyunjin likes to think he’s rather good at pretending people don’t exist for extended periods of time. Once in third year he managed to ignore Jisung for two entire weeks, refusing to even glance in his direction, all because had insinuated that Bunny wasn’t as cute as the other owls. In fifth year one of the Gryffindors – Eric Sohn – had turned Hyunjin’s robes scarlet, and despite his protests that _it was an accident, please don’t kill me,_ Hyunjin still barely acknowledges his existence.

Now Donghyuck keeps trying to talk to Hyunjin, who responds by adamantly ignoring all his advances in the hopes that he’ll give up eventually. It doesn’t help that the rest of his crew – except Seungmin – seem to want to talk to Hyunjin too.

Hyunjin just ignores them all – turns the other way when they cross paths, sitting in the great hall where he _won’t_ have to look at the Slytherin table – but it’s harder to do so when he shares a fair few of his classes with at least one of them, especially with the professors’ love for randomly pairing students up.

It’s probably just luck that he’s somehow not paired with any of them in any of his classes – even if Sunwoo is a terrible defense partner, with his tendency to get scared of anything and everything despite being a Gryffindor. And then in potions, where Professor Kang seems to find it so utterly _hilarious_ to pair Hyunjin up with Kim Hyunjin just on the basis that they have the same name, despite being in different houses and having barely talked to each other before.

At least he’s not paired with Seungmin in potions, who’s taken to sneaking glances at Hyunjin, trying to catch his attention in every class.

(He hates that he notices Seungmin so much – he’s meant to be _non-existent,_ not like an irritating fly just out of sight.)

And, on a Friday afternoon, when Hyunjin heads into the library with Jeno, who’s dragged Jaemin along with him, he quickly ushers them into the corner opposite where the Slytherins are sitting, as far away as possible. Jaemin seems perfectly fine with that, but Jeno just sends longing glances towards Donghyuck.

(Really, he’s not being subtle at all. Maybe he’s not trying to.)

They study diligently for approximately five minutes, with Jeno occasionally asking Jaemin for the answers to something, until Jeno slams his book shut and leans forward, forearms resting against the table, looking seriously at Hyunjin.

Hyunjin doesn’t realise until he glances up from his parchment to ask Jeno something, and he almost immediately feels mildly threatened by Jeno’s gaze. When he’s smiling, he always looks harmless, but Jeno like this – his eyes hard, serious, his mouth drawn in a straight line – is _scary._ Hyunjin’s almost never seen Jeno like this.

“I don’t see why you can’t just talk to Seungmin at least once,” Jeno says. Hunjin can hear the frustration in his voice – like he’s trying to restrain it but it leaks out anyway. “Look, I know you guys have _history_ or whatever, but all Donghyuck talks about now is how you keep ignoring them.”

 _Sounds like someone’s jealous,_ Hyunjin thinks viciously. “I don’t see what this has to do with you,” he mutters.

Jeno’s frown deepens, but Hyunjin can see his hard façade cracking, concern seeping through. “I just want to spend time with Hyuckie without hearing about your stupid grudge against Seungmin.”

“It’s not stupid,” Hyunjin says quietly, but it’s overshadowed by the loud, incredulous laugh Jaemin lets out, making all eyes in the vicinity fly to their table.

“Hyuckie? You’re on a _nickname_ basis with him?”

If it was tense before, it’s nothing compared to this. “Why are you saying it like it’s a bad thing?” Jeno asks, his tone soft but his eyes hard, flashing with something Hyunjin thinks just might be _anger._ He’s never seen it on Jeno before.

“ _Like_ it’s a bad thing? Of course it’s a _bad thing,_ ” Jaemin hisses. “You know what he’s like! He and Renjun and the rest of them!”

Most of the library has fallen silent, entranced by the argument simmering in the air. Hyunjin glances in the direction of the Slytherins’ table, out of pure curiosity. None of them seem to notice anything is up – Hyunjoon and Seungmin are laughing at Siyeon, Donghyuck grinning at the frown on her face.

“I don’t think I do actually,” Jeno replies, still quieter than Jaemin. “What _are_ they like?”

It won’t be long until the Slytherins hear them arguing, and Hyunjin decides he should probably leave before everything escalates to the point of no return. He wishes Jisung and Felix were here to alleviate the argument – he’s never been good at placating people, that’s mostly been up to the rest of their dorm.

“They’re stuck up and arrogant and _heartless,”_ Jaemin begins, his voice raising as he speaks.

Hyunjin slides his books into his bag quickly and slips away as best as possible, not wanting to inadvertently get involved in any of this. Jeno and Jaemin don’t seem to notice him, too caught up in their fight to pay attention to him.

Hyunjin’s almost out the door when someone speeds past him, heading in the same direction, bumping into him and almost sending the two of them flying. Hyunjin instinctively grabs their arms and steadies them, only registering the green robes after he’s regained his balance.

“Oh, Renjun. I didn’t know you were in the library,” he says awkwardly. Renjun’s eyes are rimmed red, and an unsteady feeling grows in the pit of his stomach. “I guess – you heard what Jaemin said?”

Renjun looks suspiciously at Hyunjin, like he can’t tell whether to trust him or not. Hyunjin’s still holding on him, so he releases his grip, and Renjun seems to relax, rolling his eyes in a clear attempt to seem indifferent. “It’s so nice to know Na Jaemin hates us as much as we all thought he did.”

“Oh. I’m – sorry?” It comes out awkward, stilted, and it’s clear these probably aren’t the right words by the way Renjun winces, shrugging his shoulders in attempted nonchalance.

“It’s whatever,” he says. “Everyone knows he hates us.”

Hyunjin nods, taking a step to leave before Renjun speaks up again, making him pause in his movement.

“We’re not bad people, you know.”

Hyunjin blinks. “I know.”

“You shouldn’t let past events define how you feel about others.”

Unease grips Hyunjin’s heart. First Donghyuck, now Renjun. _How much do they even know?_ “Does everyone in Slytherin know about that?” he says bitterly.

“We only know what Seungmin told us. Which _wasn’t much,_ by the way,’ Renjun adds. He pauses, and stares at Hyunjin for a few moments. “Let him talk to you.”

He waits for a while longer, but when Hyunjin doesn’t reply he shrugs and turns to leave. Not wanting to stay around any longer, Hyunjin heads back to his dorm, feeling unsteady as he goes.

(Jeno stumbles in a while later, slumping on the edge of his bed and burying his face in his hands, breathing heavily. Hyunjin can tell he’s trying to hold back sobs, and he slips out of the dorm quietly, letting Jeno have his privacy. He’ll do something later to distract Jeno, when he’s calmed down.)

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

There’s something about hot chocolate that makes Hyunjin happy, even if just for a moment, warming him from both inside and outside, fingers wrapped tightly around the mug. It’s something to fixate on, a bright spot of warmth and homeliness in the otherwise cold kitchen (cold, dark world).

“This is really good,” Jeno mumbles, smiling softly. It doesn’t reach his eyes. “Thanks, Hyunjin.”

Hyunjin nods, smiling back. Jeno doesn’t seem in the mood to talk, focusing on his hot chocolate and taking methodical sips, so Hyunjin doesn’t try to force him, content to sit in silence and provide his company. They remain silent until someone taps Hyunjin’s leg, a soft voice speaking up.

“Master Hyunjin?” Gyu peers up at Hyunjin inquisitively, a folded-up piece of parchment clutched in his hands. He eyes Jeno, seeming to notice the (slightly) gloomy atmosphere between the two. “Are you busy? Gyu does not want to intrude.”

Hyunjin glances at Jeno, who shakes his head slightly, smiling at Gyu. He looks endeared (and happier than just twenty seconds ago).

“It’s fine, Gyu,” Hyunjin says, and Gyu cheers up, grinning at Hyunjin, who nods at the parchment. “Who’s it from?”

“Gyu cannot tell you, Master Hyunjin!” he says, pressing one finger to his lips. Hyunjin stares deadpan, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Gyu.”

Gyu shakes his head frantically. “He told me not to say anything.”

“So they’re a _he,”_ Hyunjin leans forward, grinning at Gyu and gently tugging the parchment from his hands.

Gyu’s eyes widen dramatically and he gasps, hands flying to his mouth. “Gyu has said too much! Gyu must leave now, goodbye Master Hyunjin! Bye Master Jeno!” And then he’s gone, leaving the two Hufflepuff’s alone in the kitchen again, only now instead of a mug, Hyunjin holds a note from – someone.

_Abandoned potions room at 5pm tomorrow. Be there._

“Who’s it from?” Jeno asks, and Hyunjin just shrugs, sliding it across the table so he can have a look. He has a strong feeling he knows who it is, despite there being no name.

“It’s one of two people,” he murmurs. “Donghyuck or Seungmin – they’re the only ones who have been wanting to talk to me.”

Jeno shakes his head. “That’s not Donghyuck’s handwriting.”

Hyunjin pulls the note back and looks at it more closely. The handwriting is familiar to him, but it’s been years since he’s properly seen anything Seungmin wrote, so it might not be him. It might not be.

(It probably is.)

(If it is, he doesn’t want to go. He really, _really_ doesn’t want to go.)

He crumples up the note, fully intent on throwing out as soon as he can and ignoring it, but Jeno grabs his fist gently, pulling the note from his grasp and smoothing it out again. Looking at it for a moment, he folds it up carefully and hands it to Hyunjin.

“You should go. It’s probably one of your fangirls.”

“Gyu said it was a _he,_ ” Hyunjin retorts. _He doesn’t want to go._

“Fanboy, then,” Jeno adds.

Hyunjin sighs. “I’ll ask Jisung and Felix what they think.”

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

The abandoned potions room is on the fifth floor. It’s been that way for years – decades even; no one really knows. According to rumours, it was either abandoned after a potion blew up, almost killing the entire class in the room at the time; or someone actually _did_ die in there in some weird, gruesome manner.

(There are lots of different versions flying around about someone dying – either by blowing up, by disintegrating, by _melting._ They’re all rather ridiculous, but then again, most rumours are, especially old ones.)

Some people even say it’s haunted (which is stupid, because the entire fucking school is haunted) by a malicious ex-teacher who had been hated among students.

Hyunjin’s favourite rumour is that a mould started growing in the room releasing a gas that was toxic to anyone who would breathe it in, and for whatever reason it couldn’t be cleaned, so they just never used it again.

(He totally didn’t just create the rumour two minutes ago, standing outside the shut door, too afraid to knock and enter. He’s not afraid. Not at all.)

(He’s fucking _terrified._ )

Chewing on his lip anxiously, a metallic taste fills his mouth as he bites a little too hard, flinching at the sharp, brief pain. _Fuck._ Maybe if he just – _leaves, right now,_ if he turns around and walks away and – _no._ He’s made this far, all he needs to do is knock.

( _He’s too scared._ )

Before he can second guess himself again, he knocks. There’s no answer.

( _Leave now, leave now, leave now._ )

Hyunjin waits for another minute, and when there’s still nothing, he pushes open the door, bracing himself to greet Seungmin. It swings open silently, smoothly, and inside the room is brighter than he’d thought it would be.

A boy sits on one of the desks, looking down at something. He hasn’t heard Hyunjin, who, at first, thinks he’s correct – black hair, green robes. The boy’s head is bent down so he can’t see his face but – it _could_ be Seungmin.

And then the boy’s head rises, and Hyunjin realises he’s wrong. He’s so, _so,_ wrong.

“Oh,” Hyunjin says, somewhat awkwardly. “Jeongin. Hi.”

Jeongin grins shyly and waves. His eyes rest on the doorhandle – Hyunjin’s hand still rests on it, the door is still wide open, he’s still half outside, so he steps inside fully and lets it swing shut, trying not to flinch at the loud sound of it closing.

“It’s nice to see you again,” Jeongin says. He sounds hopeful.

 _You too,_ Hyunjin wants to say (thinks he should say). “I didn’t think it was you,” he says instead. “The note, I mean.”

“Gyu didn’t tell you? I wasn’t sure if I could trust him to keep a secret.” Jeongin lets out a laugh, short and without any true humour behind it. Hyunjin indulges him by laughing too, just as short and fake.

And then silence falls between them, uncomfortable and thick and heavy. Hyunjin doesn’t really know what to say – or how to say what he wants to say. Jeongin looks just as uncomfortable.

They both speak up at the same time.

“Look, Hyunjin-”

“Why are you-”

They pause, and then there’s a brief (awkward) exchange where Hyunjin insists that Jeongin speaks first.

“Hyunjin, to tell the truth,” Jeongin starts nervously, fiddling with his sleeves. “This isn’t just because I want to talk to you. I’m – failing. Transfiguration.”

Hyunjin blinks. “Oh. You want a tutor?”

Jeongin nods.

“Why didn’t you just ask me upfront?”

A pause. Jeongin bites his lip sheepishly. “Honestly? I didn’t think you would be willing to talk to me. You kind of – stopped talking to me – to all of us – after you… left.”

Something churns in Hyunjin’s stomach – guilt, trepidation, anger. He feels sick.

“So?” Jeongin encourages, eyes still hopeful. Hyunjin’s mouth feels like cotton, throat clogged up full of it, like any second he’ll throw up.

“I’ll think about it,” Hyunjin manages.

Jeongin nods, smiles happily. “Thanks, Hyunjin! I – I missed you, you know,” he adds, expression growing serious. Hyunjin nods, waits for Jeongin to leave before he opens his mouth.

“I missed you too.” It’s soft, quiet (feels strange on his tongue), and he knows Jeongin hasn’t heard him.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

In Hyunjin’s first year, the seventh and eighth floors of Hogwarts had been closed off, with restricted entry to staff at the school only. In his third year, it officially opened as a University floor – an addition to Hogwarts for students who didn’t want to go straight into the workforce.

It has its own dormitory, its own common room – which, unlike Hogwarts itself, doesn’t split into four houses, rather, everyone shares one living space – and its own classrooms, with the exception of Potions, where all the classrooms are in the dungeons, near the Slytherin house. The only thing the university students share is the great hall, and even then their mealtimes aren’t restricted to the same mealtimes as the teenage students.

For the most part, the students in each area don’t interact much, unless they’re friends. Some of them take on tutoring jobs for younger students – first years and second years – and some, wanting to be professors themselves, have the opportunity to teach whole classes.

Hyunjin doesn't often visit the university floors, not really friends with many of them and, for the ones he _is_ friends with, preferring to meet them outside of Hogwarts, or in more general areas, rather than be overwhelmed by older kids in a space that should exclusively be for them.

So, Hyunjin isn't very familiar with the layout of the upper floors, but at the very least he knows where the dorms are, so he tries to ignore the slightly judgmental glances of other students and heads straight towards the one dorm he visits if he's ever up here.

He's about to knock on the door when it opens by itself, Jisung on the other side and Minho hovering behind him. Hyunjin eyes him, only mildly judgmentally. Jisung flushes.

"It's not what it looks like," he mutters, frozen in the doorway. Minho waves cheerfully at Hyunjin.

"Hi, Hyunjinnie! I was just seeing Jisung out," Minho pushes Jisung slightly, who seems to snap out of his daze and begins moving forward again, as if propelled by some unseen force. Hyunjin steps aside to let them past.

He contemplates teasing Jisung, but ultimately decides against it when he remembers exactly _why_ he had come here. "Minho!" he calls, and Minho turns around, waiting patiently for Hyunjin to continue. "Is Woojin in here?"

Minho shakes his head. "He's in the commons, with Chan."

 _Fuck._ Hyunjin hates the university common room - it's filled with older people who judge every student younger than them, whether they're in their first or seventh year. Really, Hyunjin just doesn't like talking to strangers - or being in an area with a large group of them.

Minho seems to sense the distress on Hyunjin's face, because he asks, "I can get him for you, if  
you like?"

Hyunjin flicks his gaze from Minho to Jisung, who's looking awfully jealous, and he shakes his head vigorously. "I'll be fine! I don't want to bother you," he replies, and Minho looks unsure for a second, but Jisung taps him on the shoulder and Hyunjin waves him off.

The common room is bigger than the Hufflepuff commons, with more tables and less couches and only one fireplace, and in Hyunjin's personal (and very, very correct) opinion, it's so much worse. Luckily, he spots Woojin almost immediately, sitting next to Chan at one of the tables, perusing a book.

(What book? Hyunjin doesn't know nor care.)

Chan is the first to notice him, glancing up briefly then lighting up once he sees Hyunjin, a large grin taking over his face. Woojin seems to notice the disturbance, and eventually sees Hyunjin too.

"Hyunjinnie!" Chan calls, shutting his own textbook and leaping up to hug Hyunjin tightly. Hyunjin flushes when he notices a group of students glance over, then giggle very loudly. Woojin is less rambunctious, smiling softly at Hyunjin and gesturing for him to sit beside him. Hyunjin shakes his head at the offer, opening his mouth to speak, but Woojin beats him to it.

"What's wrong, Hyunjin?" he asks, as Chan settles back in his seat (read: sits back down, opens his book and very obviously pretends to be reading it). Hyunjin bites his lip anxiously.

"I just wanted to ask you something," he says, and understanding dawns across Woojin's face.

“This is about Jeongin, isn't it?”

 _How did he know?_ Hyunjin nods. “Yeah.”

At that, Woojin stands up, nods towards the exit. "Do you want to go somewhere more private?"

Hyunjin nods again, and follows Woojin towards his dorm. Unintentionally, he glances back at Chan, who looks woefully alone and betrayed, but makes no move to follow the two, instead choosing to pout at his book.

Woojin's dorm is much bigger than Hyunjin's: where Hyunjin's dormitory is just a bedroom with four beds and a bathroom attached to it, Woojin's dormitory has a mini kitchen and living area that leads to two bedrooms and a bathroom. It's the second bedroom, the one with only one bed, that they head into. Hyunjin sits on the edge of the bed, Woojin settling into the chair near the desk, wheeling it closer to the bed.

"So," Woojin prompts, settling forward with his forearms braced on his thighs in a way that is strangely fatherly, Hyunjin thinks.

"Jeongin asked me to tutor him," Hyunjin says, and Woojin nods.

“He came to me last week, wanting to know how he could talk to you again.” _He - what?_ Hyunjin frowns.

“And I suppose you told him to pretend to be bad at transfiguration?” he says dryly, biting back any feelings of betrayal that have started to surface.

(Surely Woojin wouldn't do that - he's not the kind to suggest falsely leading on others, whether in relationships or friendships or by pretending to be bad at a subject.)

Woojin stares at Hyunjin for a solid moment incredulously (and honestly, Hyunjin feels a little offended), then laughs. “No, he really is terrible at it. He needs a tutor badly. And, you know, you are one of the best in your class,” he adds.

(If Hyunjin swells with pride just a little bit at those words, no one needs to know.)

"So what do I do?" he asks, fiddling with his hands. His fingers instinctively try to find a ring, some piece of jewelry to twist around, to play with, despite him having not worn any kind of ring - or any jewelry besides the occasional necklace - since his first year. It used to be a habit of his, and it's never really worn off.

"I think," Woojin starts, in his Dad Tone he only uses when he's giving Very Important Advice to younger kids. "You should consider why you stopped talking to Jeongin in the first place." When Hyunjin glances up at Woojin in surprise, mouth opening to form a response, he just holds up his hand, and Hyunjin shuts his mouth again, waits for Woojin to finish talking. "If you really didn't want to, you would have refused outright, wouldn't you?" At Hyunjin's nod, he continues, "So I think you should do it. I don't know much about what happened between you two, I just know that you used to be friends and then you weren't, and I also think you _want_ to be friends again."

He's kind of right, but Hyunjin doesn't say anything, just bites his lip again and looks down at his lap. Woojin shifts in his seat. "Ultimately, Hyunjin, I think you could really benefit from tutoring in general. So if you don't do it to regain a friendship, think of this as a way to further your own knowledge in the subject and to gain extra credit."

Hyunjin blinks. He hadn't really thought about that. "I - I will, thank you, Woojin," he says, standing up to leave. Woojin smiles.

"I'm always happy to help. Oh, and Hyunjin?" he adds, and Hyunjin pauses at the doorway, turning back to glance at Woojin. "Whatever you decide to do, don't lead on Jeongin, okay?"

"Yeah. Okay."

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

_Dear Nayeon,_

_School’s been the same. Jeno had a fight with his best friend over a Slytherin. Felix is still in love. Jisung is kind of a mess, but Minho thinks it’s cute. A few days ago Jeongin asked me to tutor him in transfiguration._

_I know I told you I would never speak to them again – not Seungmin, not Jeongin, not Tzuyu or Somi. I never want to be associated with my family again. Or yours, or any of theirs. But I miss Jeongin, and I don’t think I realised that until we talked. I miss them all. But it still hurts too much to think about them._

_I’m scared, Nayeon, I’m scared that it’s all a trick and Jeongin doesn’t want to talk to me again, he just wants to tell me how well my parents are doing without me. I’m scared he’ll hurt me. I’m scared of what might happen if we get close again._

_I haven’t told him yes or no to tutoring. I’m still thinking. Woojin told me to do it, but I don’t know. I kind of want to be friends with him again, but it’s been so long._

_Help me._

_I love you, and Momo too,_

_Hyunjin_

 

 

 

 

_Dearest Hyunjinnie,_

_I hope this reply isn’t too late. Perhaps you’ve already decided by now, but I wanted to tell you anyway._

_You should do it._

_I know how terrifying it is to feel that way – to want desperately to rekindle a broken friendship with a lost loved one, but to be so, so afraid of being hurt. You’ve been hurt so much by people like Jeongin that now you believe he’ll do the same._

_But I think you should take the chance. Even if you can’t be friends again, he probably really needs the help._

_Love, Nayeon_

_p.s. Momo agrees too._

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

It's a week later when Hyunjin makes his decision.

Felix hangs off Hyunjin's arm as they head to the great hall, chatting his head off about Changbin. Hyunjin isn't _really_ listening - it's a (soft) rant that he's heard many a time before, something that he could probably recite word-for-word in his sleep now that it's been ingrained in his mind so much. Jisung, usually the one to humour Felix's rants, is nowhere to be found - although, if Hyunjin could take any wild guess as to where he is his first and only option would be _with Minho, probably doing something needlessly flirty and romantic despite not being together,_ so Hyunjin isn't too worried.

Instead, he's focused on watching the corridors for Jeongin, waiting to see if he'll appear so that Hyunjin can talk to him. He doesn't see any sign of him until they enter the hall though, where he spots Jeongin at the very end of the table, seated next to two other Slytherins his year: Somi and Daehwi.

"Uh, Felix," Hyunjin interrupts Felix's rant and brushes his arm off, wincing at the pout Felix sends him. "I'll be back, I just need to talk to someone," he reassures, and Felix brightens more at that. "Can you save me a seat?"

Felix nods, and Hyunjin heads in the opposite direction, towards Jeongin.

He seems startled when he notices Hyunjin, like he had given up on him. Hyunjin smiles awkwardly at Jeongin, waving at Somi and Daehwi when they wave at him.

(He used to hang out with Somi a lot, too, way before Hogwarts. It's a little awkward seeing her again, especially when she probably has no idea of anything that happened.)

"So I thought about it," Hyunjin starts, and Jeongin brightens at that instantly.

"Will you do it?" he asks, eyes bright. Somi and Daehwi look confused, but Hyunjin ignores him (and Jeongin seems to be doing so, too.)

"Yeah," he says, nodding.

Jeongin's face splits into a grin. "Thank you!" he cheers, rising from his seat then seeming to backtrack on that, falling back down. "What days?"

 _Fuck._ Hyunjin hadn't really thought that far. "Uh, Tuesday and Thursday at four? In Professor Kwon’s classroom," he suggests, picking two days off the top of his head. He doesn't have anything on those days, as far as he can remember.

Jeongin nods enthusiastically. "That works for me! I'll see you tomorrow, then?"

"Yeah, see you," Hyunjin nods to Jeongin, then to Somi and Daehwi as he leaves, heading back to  
the Hufflepuff table.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

It's two hours before Hyunjin's designated tutoring session with Jeongin when he realises he has _no idea_ how tutoring actually _works._ He's never tutored someone before, nor has he ever needed a tutor for himself - especially not in _transfiguration._

He's on his bed, his textbooks from this year and the last laid out in front of him, when Jisung steps through the door, and Hyunjin realises everything he needs to know is in the boy in front of him. Jisung had needed a tutor a few years back - in charms, not transfiguration, but the actual tutoring process shouldn't be so different, Hyunjin thinks. At least Jisung will know _something._ If he remembers.

Hyunjin is quick to leap up and cling to him, lowering his height so he can hang off him, preventing him from moving. Jisung tries to shake him off, but Hyunjin just clings tighter.

"Jisung! My life savior, I need help!" Hyunjin whines, and when Jisung's face switches from disgruntled to concerned (almost scarily fast) he releases the shorter boy, taking to pacing around the room instead.

"What do you need?' Jisung asks, and Hyunjin spins around to face him.

"How do I tutor someone?" He doesn't wait for jisung to answer, flopping back on his bed and wincing when the edge of one of his textbooks digs into his spine painfully. Hyunjin wriggles around in the bed to find a more comfortable position.

Jisung's jaw drops. "You're _tutoring_ someone?"

Hyunjin pauses. "Yeah. Didn't I tell you?"

"Uh, _no._ "

"Oh. Well, I'm tutoring Jeongin."

"Yang Jeongin? The Slytherin kid below us?" Jisung looks even more shocked, clambering onto Hunjin's bed with him. Hyunjin tries to push him off, but he doesn't really have the energy to do much other than fret. "I didn't realise you knew him."

Hyunjin freezes. "We used to be friends."

"Wait, really?" Jisung exclaims, eyes wide. "You've literally _never_ mentioned him before, dude."

Hyunjin shrugs uncomfortably, something strange building in his chest. "Yeah, whatever. It was before Hogwarts, it doesn't matter anyway."

He's ruined the mood now, he knows he has. Jisung's brows furrow as he touches Hyunjin's shoulder gently, comfortingly. "Hyunjin? Are you okay?"

Hyunjin squirms away from his grasp and laughs weakly. "I would be more okay if you would _tell me_ how to tutor someone!" Jisung frowns further, opens his mouth as if to protest, but Hyunjin sits up abruptly, holding a hand up to silence him. “Jisung. Just tell me before I freak out even further.” Hyunjin gives Jisung his best puppy eyes, which seems to do the trick.

"Hey, don't freak out about it, Hyunjinnie," Jisung coaxes, cupping Hyunjin's face in his hands. "If this is your first session, why don't you start by figuring out what he's working on and what he has trouble with. That's what Woojin did with me."

Hyunjin nods gratefully. "Thanks, Jisung."

Jisung grins at him. "No problem, mate. Now if you'll excuse me..." He rushes to his bed and tugs something out from under his pillow, tucking it into the sleeve of his robes. "I need to give Minho something!"

As he rushes out the door, Hyunjin calls out, "don't do anything too dirty!"

Jisung sputters in the distance, and Hyunjin giggles.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

"You're telling me," Hyunjin flips back through the pages Jeongin had just shown him, "that you're bad at _everything?_ "

Jeongin nods, smiles sheepishly, and Hyunjin sighs, sliding his chair back abruptly and heading to the storage room, rummaging around in one of the boxes. He had asked Professor Kwon for access to her transfiguration classroom and, in extension, the storeroom, and thankfully she had agreed, which means Hyunjin can find materials from every year to help Jeongin.

After a few minutes, he finally finds what he's been looking for: a small box of matches. He pulls out a single match and drops it on the table in front of Jeongin.

"Can you turn a match to a needle?" Matches to needles: something everyone learnt in their first year, and something Jeongin _should_ be able to pull off relatively easily. _Should_ being the key word.

Jeongin eyes it as if it's some kind of venomous spider from Australia, which tells Hyunjin all he needs to know. He glances at Hyunjin like he's asking permission (or stalling, probably stalling) and Hyunjin stares at him in what he hopes is a stern manner, arms crossed over his chest.

They're strangely comfortable with each other already, which scares Hyunjin. He doesn’t - _didn't -_ want to fall back into their usual ways so quickly - wanted to test the waters before he decided to be friends again.

Jeongin hesitantly picks up his wand and points it at the match, performing the necessary movements needed to turn the match into a shining, silver needle. At first, Hyunjin thinks it might be working. The match is turning silver, thinning out to a point, and then Jeongin's wand flicks up at the end and... nothing. Sure, Jeongin's managed to change the form of the match in some way, but it's literally just silver. Hyunjin isn't even sure if it's made of _metal,_ it could very well just be silver coloured wood at this point.

"Did you skip all your classes in first year?" Hyunjin huffs, tossing his hands in the air.

Jeongin glares at Hyunjin. "No! I'm just bad! And, you know..." he trails off, biting his lip and falling silent. Hyunjin frowns, seating himself back next to Jeongin.  
  
"What is it?"  
  
Jeongin shifts uncomfortably. "It's just, first year was kind of tough for me. I came to school and suddenly no one I knew was talking to me. Especially not you. I started out the year thinking you hated me."  
  
Hyunjin's mouth feels dry suddenly, guilt flaring in his chest. He had cut off all communication from others while in Hogwarts, and eventually all communication entirely after moving in with Nayeon.  
  
"I struggled with all my subjects in my first year," jeongin continues, not looking at Hyunjin in the eyes. "Transfiguration just... stayed troublesome, I guess."  
  
"Jeongin - I-" Hyunjin doesn't know what to say. I'm sorry feels too insincere - besides, is he really sorry?  
  
(He is.)

Jeongin blinks, then shakes his head and sits up straighter. "Don't worry, Hyunjin. I'm over it now. You don't need to apologise." He pauses, and then a small, cheeky smile appears on his face. "Besides, you agreed to tutor me. That means you don't hate me, doesn't it?"

"Perhaps," Hyunjin says, and Jeongin's smile widens.

(Hyunjin hates to admit that he missed this. So, so much.)

Despite Jeongin's attempts to lighten the atmosphere, it remains stiff for the the rest of the tutoring session, and Hyunjin hates to admit he's kind of glad when it ends. He almost thinks Jeongin won't want to have a second session, and he can't help but feel some sort of relief when Jeongin asks the next time they'll meet.

(Two days from now, same place, same time.)

Hyunjin comes properly prepared next session, ready to _teach_ Jeongin, rather than gauge his general competence (or rather, incompetence) and he's brought more textbooks with him this time.

They begin the session more subdued, an awkwardness between them that had disappeared quickly last time but seems to linger now, like it's been brought back stronger than ever, and Hyunjin desperately wishes for it to go away, regretting what he had said previously. They’re both careful not to say anything that might flare up the awkwardness again, too afraid of disturbing the strange balance held between the two.

("Felix?" he whispers, late at night. Felix's reply is hushed, a simple _what's up, mate?_ And Hyunjin takes his time to word his question properly. "If you had hurt someone in the past, without knowing you did, and they recently wanted to be my friend again, what would you do?" There's a long pause. And then, Felix whispers back, "I don't know. Do _I_ want to be their friend again?")

The session is spent figuring out problems with Jeongin's technique, nitpicking his wand movements (and _especially_ that wand flick at the end) until, after two hours, Jeongin has finally managed to turn a match into a needle.

Sure, it's a first year lesson, and Jeongin still has a long way to go, but it's something. And this time, Hyunjin feels good afterwards, feels something other than guilt filling him up.

(Pride, in himself for allowing himself to try get closer, for teaching Jeongin, and in Jeongin, for managing to accomplish something he couldn't just two days ago.)

In the third session Hyunjin's moved onto turning goblets into mice, which Jeongin seems to have much more trouble with. It's more comfortable now, they're falling back into a rhythm that works for the both of them, but their conversations stay strictly to the topic at hand.

(It works for now.)

Earlier, Hyunjin had tried to properly teach Jeongin the formula to transfiguration, but Jeongin had stared at it blankly for a full five minutes until Hyunjin gave up, deciding to just teach him by eye.

He sighs as Jeongin performs the incorrect wand movements again, his wand flicking up at the end _again,_ (it's a tic, Jeongin doesn't even seem to notice he's doing it unless he concentrates really, _really_ hard) and repeats the movement with his own wand, successfully turning his own goblet into a mouse that squeaks twice before running off the table and into a hole in the wall. Jeongin attempts to copy. His wand flicks up at the end and he curses under his breath, frustration visible in his frame: shoulders hunches, frowning angrily as tears well up in his eyes.

"Do you want to take a break?" Hyunjin suggests, and Jeongin shakes his head angrily.

"I need to get this," he mutters, but he doesn't try again.

"Hey," Hyunjin rests a hand on Jeongin's shoulder and rubs it comfortingly. Jeongin stiffens up, and Hyunjin almost removes his hand, scared he's fucked up, but the younger relaxes almost immediately after, pressing into Hyunjin's touch in a way that seems subconscious. "Jeongin, don't beat yourself up about this," Hyunjin says soothingly. "You're getting there. You're not going to be perfect in just one lesson."

Jeongin's wand drops to the table. "This is a third year lesson, I should _know_ how to do it!"

(Yesterday, Hyunjin had approached professor Kwon and asked her about Jeongin, discovering that Jeongin had only been passing his classes because he had seated himself near people who were good enough at transfiguration they could do it for him, if he asked nicely enough. It had been professor Kwon who recommended Jeongin get himself a tutor in the first place.)

"You will, eventually," Hyunjin replies. "There's no use beating yourself up about it."

Jeongin looks like he wants to protest, so Hyunjin is quick to return the goblet back to the storeroom, preventing Jeongin from trying the spell again.

"Lesson's over," Hyunjin says, holding his hand out for Jeongin to take, tugging him up from his seat. "We'll continue this next time, when you're feeling better."

Jeongin nods, wiping his eyes on his sleeve. "Thanks, Jinnie."

The nickname slips out easily from Jeongin's mouth and they both stiffen up, aware that Jeongin's crossed some kind of line regarding their acquaintanceship. Hyunjin hasn't heard that nickname in years, and it's clear Jeongin is at least partially aware of this - aware of the distance between them.

Hyunjin shakes off the strange feeling that washes over him (nostalgia?) and smiles at Jeongin, squeezing his shoulder gently. "It's nothing, really, Jeongin. I'm glad to help."

From then on, it's as if that moment's cracked something in their awkwardness. Jeongin jokes around with Hyunjin more easily, still not completely comfortable aroun deach other, but at least they can talk easily. Jeongin even approaches Hyunjin outside of their sessions sometimes, and while their conversations then are still somewhat stilted and awkward, something in Hyunjin warms up whenever it happens.

It's in their fifth session when Jeongin asks Hyunjin something that isn't remotely related to transfiguration. They're working silently, Jeongin focused on perfecting his goblet mouse, and Hyunjin watching and making notes mentally. After Jeongin messes up for the fifth time, he drops his wand to the table and sighs, slumping down.

"Can we take a break now, Hyunjin?" he asks, pouting cutely.

(He doesn't call Hyunjin 'Jinnie' anymore. Hyunjin doesn't know what to think about that. He misses it, maybe.)

At Hyunjin's nod of affirmation, he grins and shoved away the goblet and slumping fully on the table, his head resting on his arms. Hyunjin can't help but snicker. Jeongin laying there, pretending to be asleep, isn't a recent behaviour. Hyunjin remembers when they were young - very, very young - and the two of them didn't want to do any of their chores, so they would fall to the ground and pretend to be asleep (or dead).

Something heavy fills his heart at the memory, a longing for the past, before he started Hogwarts. When everything felt fine.

"I can hear you think," Jeongin mumbles, his voice muffled.

"No you can't."

Jeongin tilts his head to the side, cracking a smile at Hyunjin's frown. "How do you know I'm not a legilimens?"

"If you're a legilimens, then I'm Professor Kwon," Hyunjin replies, snorting. Jeongin giggles briefly, then turns serious.

"Seriously, Hyunjin. It's always obvious when you're thinking hard." He sits up, tilting hi shead at Hyunjin. "So what're you thinking about?"

_Do you ever miss the way things were?_

"It's nothing," Hyunjin says, shrugging. "Don't worry about it."

Jeongin frowns at that, but doesn't say anything, turning in his seat. Now he looks like he's thinking hard. Hyunjin lets him sit there for a few moments longer, then reaches for Jeongin's goblet, ready to continue teaching him.

Jeongin interrupts him before he can place the goblet in front of him, blurting out, "Halloween's this Saturday. What're you dressing as?"

Hyunjin pauses. Jeongin hasn't asked him anything... like this, before. Not in their tutoring sessions.

(It's a means to change the subject, to stop Hyunjin from thinking too hard, and he recognises that. And, just a little bit, he appreciates that.)

"I'm not sure," he replies. "Jisung wanted us to dress up as Slytherins."

Jeongin giggles. "That's boring. You should do something interesting."

"Like what?" Hyunjin can't help but be intrigued (and somewhat scared) by the smirk Jeongin sends him.

"Somi and I are going as muggle movie characters. You should think of something similar."

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Hyunjin loiters around the drinks table awkwardly, his green robes hanging off his body stiffly. He'd come with Jisung and Felix, all of them in matching Slytherin garb, from the scarf down to the bright green socks, but at some point they had both ditched Hyunjin, leaving him alone. He would totally talk to Jeno, but he doesn't want to third wheel. And - Jaemin _would_ be an option, if he were actually in the hall at all right now. So he's standing here, alone, waiting to see if _maybe_ someone else will talk to him.

(Someone that _isn't_ the group of third years giggling whenever he looks their way.)

He gulps down the rest of his pumpkin juice, and is about to leave, when a familiar voice speaks up.

"I thought I said that would be boring," Jeongin says, grinning and reaching past Hyunjin to grab two cups, filling them up with juice. "I'm disappointed in you."

Jeongin is alone, too, but his costume is, admittedly, very impressive. He's dressed up as The Joker - it's something Hyunjin actually recognises - Jisung and Felix had shown him every Batman film that had been created, after they discovered Hyunjin had never seen a muggle film in his life.

"Hey, I'm older than you," Hyunjin warns. "You shouldn't be criticising my choice in costume."

Jeongin rolls his eyes. "I have every right to criticise a costume, especially when it _sucks,_ " he retorts, giggling.

There's a shout from somewhere, a call of Jeongin's name, and Hyunjin spots Somi beckoning him impatiently. She's dressed as Harley Quinn, her hair charmed platinum blonde and a bat resting by her side.

"Gotta go, I'll talk to you later, yeah?" Jeongin waves awkwardly at Hyunjin, trying not to spill his drink, and Hyunjin waves back as he leaves to join Somi.

He contemplates whether he should refill his own cup, but decides against it, resting the cup on the table and watching it disintegrate, returning to the kitchens to be cleaned. He turns around to leave, to find someone to talk to, when he almost bumps into Seungmin, who's eyeing him strangely. Hyunjin freezes, then tries to breeze past him, but Seungmin steps in front of him.

"So you're talking to Jeongin again." It's not a question, but Hyunjin knows it should be. He knows Seungmin's prompting him to give an explanation.

"Maybe I am," Hyunjin replies warily. He can sense multiple gazes on him - Hyunjoon and Siyeon are in the distance, gazing at the two of them critically.

"Why?"

"Why does it matter to you?" Hyunjin retorts sharply, harsher than he intends.

Seungmin winces, steps closer to Hyunjin. "Jeongin is my friend, Hyunjin. I'm allowed to be worried about him."

Hyunjin raises an eyebrow incredulously. "Your friend? Do you two even talk at school?"

That must hit a nerve, because Seungmin glares at Hyunjin. "Just because we don't talk much, doesn't mean I can't be worried for him."

"Why should you be worried for him? He can take care of himself."

"I don't want him to be hurt,” Seungmin mutters, quiet enough that he almost can’t be heard.

Hyunjin scoffs. "That's fucking rich. You'd know all about hurting others, _wouldn't you?_ "

Seungmin flinches back as though wounded, all anger gone from his expression, leaving raw, un-- hurt. "You know nothing, Hyunjin," he hisses. Hyunjin stays silent as Seungmin shoves past him, almost knocking him over, making a beeline for the doors. It's too loud in the great hall to hear the slamming of the doors, but Hyunjin still flinches when they shut, something spiking in his chest.

( _It's not guilt, it's not guilt, it's not guilt._ )

Someone wrenches Hyunjin's arm roughly, making him spin around, and Hyunjin grabs them in retaliation, letting go when he realises it's Siyeon, Hyunjoon behind her.

"What the _fuck_ did you say to Seungmin?" she hisses. Hyunjin steps back involuntarily at her tone.

"Why do you care?" he replies half heartedly, making to walk away, find someone to talk to. Siyeon follows him.

"Don't be a fucking asshole, Hwang. He just wanted to talk to you,” she says heatedly, and Hyunjin freezes in his tracks, whirling around to glare at Siyeon.

"Yeah? It didn't fucking seem like it," Hyunjin snaps. "So fuck off, _Park._ "

Siyeon opens her mouth, but Hyunjin turns around and storms out of the hall before he can hear what she says, angrily wiping tears from his eyes.

The halls are empty, everyone in the school in the great hall, celebrating, and Hyunjin stumbles into the common room, also empty, and slumps onto one of the couches near a fireplace. He curls up, head resting on his knees as he tries to breathe properly, sucking in large breaths and letting them out slowly, shakily, trying to calm himself down. Drowsiness overtakes him and he drifts off, falling into a restless sleep, tear tracks still staining his face.

(When he wakes up, at almost two o'clock, a heavy blanket is draped over him, Felix next to him on the couch, asleep. The fire still blazes.)

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> twt : [@staylatte](https://twitter.com/staylatte)  
> cc: [neolatte](https://curiouscat.me/neolatte)
> 
> hmu if u have any questions / queries / criticisms etc..  
> & don't forget to leave kudos & comments uwu


End file.
